Never

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Never did I think I would say that I like him
Never did I think I would want things to happen
Never did I think I could see us together
But here I am now
Contemplating
Wondering why”I love you” is part of my thinking
And I am always saying
Not right now
No
Wait
Now’s not the time
I need to focus
Get myself straight
I tried so hard and I blocked out my emotions
And then like a tsunami the waves of love came
Rolling
Crashing
Thundering towards me
And drowning my heart
I wish I had an oxygen mask
Or a vaccine against love’s air
because love is in the air
The aura of loveliness about him speaks volumes
I am in over my head
I need saving
I write and I write
To free my mind
Let go of my spirit
Not to pass the time
I barely have anytime
Which makes me wonder
When did I have time to fall so hard?
When I did realize I had this feeling
I gasped for air
And something settled into my lungs
A ball formed in my throat
I am not ready for this
No matter how hard I try
And I don’t want to fight the temptations
They are already showing themselves
I think of when we can rendezvous
Sneak a kiss and maybe two
Taste the love on our lips and know that it isn’t through
We can fight for things to be
And we can pray that it will happen
But we take the chance of a broken heart
That will suffocate like quick sand
Suck us in
Spit us out
And say to our faces
Never

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He Doesn’t Know

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And his words were as velvet
Filling my ears with an addictive vibration
My mind spins as I find myself in a state of being unaware
Blank
And under a spell
If those lips met mine I would melt
If those hands held mine
I would surely get weak
Because his everything is as electricity
He sends electric currents through the air with his voice
That leave me in shock
And I freeze
I burn
The tables are turned
I am no longer single
For my heart has been taken by him
But he doesn’t know…

Pause

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As I pause for a moment to take things in
Breathe
Relax
Realize where I am at
The buzzing of the cars and the constant chatter on the street
I realize I am in a place with out rest
Constantly moving
Always doing something
Never do I have time to just think
Deeply think
Meditate on life and life’s adjectives
That used to be my objective
And I have found it isn’t selective
I don’t have time
I miss the endless hours of pursuing my desires
And I wish that I could have just one day
To make that wish come true after this long hiatus
My mind has been so bogged down with life
That I have forgotten to focus on life!
Now
I know that may not make sense
But it is times like these that I just need to pause
Take a moment to relish the facts of life
Pause