Deja Vu

Deja vu

Can’t escape this deja vu

Cant make something of myself

I don’t know what i want to do

Much less what i need

I am so lost for words

I have no answers

Ready to give up trying

Tired of shape shifting

Confusion is an epidemic

My brain can’t take all these thoughts

Memories flood my mind

They always are nonstop

I cant forget what i want

Hurting so much, in my mental

My only salvation is physical pain

Blood doesnt have to surface

Who says i have to create scars

Punch my fist so hard

Anger boils insides

Because im so screwed up in my mind

I wish i could be dead

And never come back to this world

Why start over, when it will all be the same

Life sucks and to me life isnt worth anything

Who is actually happy and satisfied?

I cant imagine that contentment in life…

She say its selfish to take my life

And leave all those who love me behind

What are you even talking about

Love is support

Love isnt turning a blind eye

To the mentally unstable

To the mentally hurting

Just because i want something else for my life

Support is hard to come by

Love isn’t a freaking title

Mother or not

Love is not just a word

Married or not

Love is pain

And i dont want to feel it anymore

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Praise Turned To Bless

Blessed

No other word can express

The love God has shown

He has bestowed His grace.

His unfailing love.

Where can one find this kind of love?

Nowhere but from Heaven above.

Doors open and doors close,

God has opened so many lately i dont know where to go!

Open doors with endless possibilities,

To serve Him and Him only!

I know He has and will continue to bless

I just pray that i dont let bad times get the best of me

I tend to get down easy

My spirit is set on nothing but pleasing

Everyone around me!

God is the only person i should worry about tho.

God is the only one being i should set my heart on.

Oh how i am blessed.

For God loves me so!

Oh how i am blessed,

God will never let me go!

I am in his hands! I am in his safety!

Praise His name! His is so great!

For he blesses without fail

He comforts without fail!

Good, Bad, and the Ugly

You ask me what i feel

And i can’t tell you now

Because i change my mind, Like the wind

You should know by now

That somehow I, have more than words to say

But they always change

Indecisive plays in games

You ask me what i feel

And i cant tell you now

It is too soon to tell

How far i will get from here

If i continue down this path

I wonder if i will regret

Or maybe not I wont know until then

You ask me what i feel

And i cannot tell you now

I been fighting myself

Trying to learn how

To move on from my mistakes

fighting long and hard All the way

And im too the point Words cant explain

So dont bother asking me!

You ask me how i deal

With all this in my head

I said I dont know how but sometimes i want to be dead

Instead, of alive because Death is quick

But misery is long

And i cant keep going on

Life is way too hard

And when it isnt easy we give up

You ask me what do i feel

Well I don’t really know right now

I just keep making plans and i hope that somehow

That i accomplish them

And get motivation

To change the world

To make it a better place

At least not for them but me

Because we all gotta fight for ourselves

And no one will save you but yourself

You ask me what do i feel

Well i think i know now

This world is unbalanced and it wont balance itself

We gotta experience to be smarter

Stronger And wiser

Consider the factors that decipher

Where we will be in the future

gotta live life fuller

With good, bad, and ugly

I can make this life worth living

with the good bad and ugly

I can make life what i want it to be

With the good bad and ugly

I can change the world without it changing me

I can make my reality

With the Good bad and ugly

Territory

Hello sunshine 🙂

Can I call you that, love?

When the rain of every day irritations

Cause a drought in my appreciation

of life

I know

I can count on you

to be my sunlight.

You’ll pull me through.

You make me a better person.

You light up the darkness around me;

Help me clean up the dirtiness inside me.

Babe.

You are my sunshine.

I carry you with me everywhere i go.

In my heart,

If you must know,

You stay;

Never to stray.

You take my breath away.

You stole my heart,

But thats fine.

You can keep it,

I trust you with it ;

To treasure it and to treat it,

With care

And protection,

With love

And devotion.

And sunshine

As you do with mine

I will with yours,

Lord willing.

I will hold your heart close.

I will love it daily, and more that most.

I will treasure it… well

I already do.

I will protect it from harm too.

And sunshine,

If ever a time it gets hurt

It will be because of someone else’s dirt,

But they will have had to gone through me first.

I will fight with all my might

To protect what is mine and what i cherish

For baby

I claim you

You are mine.

I hope you dont mind

That statement sounds controlling…

But i rather think of it as territorial

Im like a wolf in sheeps clothing

I am territorial

And anything or anyone that comes close to you

Let it be known

I wil raise my guard

And fight to defend your heart

This sheep is delicate

But this sheep can be a rabid wolf

Dont be afraid…

Im not too crazy

I just know to find a treasure like you is nothing to take lightly

So i am careful not to lose you

Jealousy?

Not really.

Being jealous is when you want something that is someone else’s.

You shouldn’t be jealous.

Because i am not anyone else’s.

Only yours.

Forever.

So territorial…? let it be so.

You are my territory.

And i yours.

Kiss

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“I got that good numbing pain, my dear,
Its called a kiss
Of love and passion”

When something hits you so good you fall so hard but yet feel nothing
You just float back up on the sky
Gravity ceases to exist
And you rise above the clouds
Higher
You are numb to everything
But yet feel everything so deeply
A kiss
Embraced.
Tightly.
And looking up to you and you
Grabbing my face – gently but manly-
And kissing me passionately.
Soft, and genuine.
Intense
And powerful
Biting softly
Aggressive
But loving
Deep
And tasteful
One step further and I would surely fall back
But again
Float
Butterflies will escape my body
And I would be left with nothing but a kiss

Our Love (Part 1)

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Just when I thought I couldn’t have gotten any crazier
I hear those words I only dreamed of hearing
Making my head spin more out of control
Forcing me to believe
That I indeed
Have gone overboard
I am head over heels
Deep in my feelings for you
I love you with all I have, and then some
If I could only show you
By way of a simple kiss
Wrapping my arms around your waist
A tight embrace
Squeeze the air out of your lungs
Boy,
That would be great.

Dusk

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Light like a feather

Floating on the river of life

I’m in love with these butterflies I get when I am with you

When they crop up all I can do is set them free

Holding them captive would be such a tragedy

 

It’s obvious that you’re the better half of me

Although you, love, have my whole heart

I’m superhuman when were together

To deny me of you would be such a travesty

 

When the sun rises I see the ray’s brightness

It reminds me of the lightness in your heart

And as the sun sets and the dusk is formed

You are my moon, you shine in the dark

 

You’re such a beautiful constellation

You’re a legion of stars

An array of vivid colors

In the galaxy of my heart

 

This high I have

This irreplaceable happiness portrayed

It exemplifies the spirit I have with you by my side

And the joy embraces my soul as we sit alone tonight

 

In love…

 

This poem was a collaboration with my friend Xavier over at https://thevoicelessheart.wordpress.com/
He has some AMAZING poems. Beautifully written love poetry! Please follow him you won’t regret it! And I highly recommend it 😉

Genuine Love

Embraced with love that binds my heart
Making all bad thoughts in my mind depart
The touch of your hand makes it all go away
And makes me want to live another day.

The gentle kiss that says “I love you so”
And the hug that hold me very close
And the voice you use to mesmerize me
All make me want to loudly sing.

If ever a place that I should die
In your arms held very tight
Held so that I’ll never go
And nothing can take me, because you protect me.

Make me the only one
And provide me with security
And never let someone
Speak to me unkindly

These things you do
Give me the proof to see
That you are all I’ve ever wanted
And all I’ll ever need.