For not being what they thought you were
For stealing my heart and repaying it with yours
For loving me no matter
For never letting a day go by without saying ‘I love you’
For proving my doubts wrong time and time again
For being what I need to you to be
For lifting me up when I am lonely
For being my friend when no one else calls me
For loving me so well I can never want anything more
(Only more and more of what you give)
For providing for me
For kissing me
For hugging me and holding me
For never letting another man walk over me
For being my rock
For being my safe Haven
For being my comfort and peace
For calming me down
For hyping me up
For bringing me laughter
For your love for God
For your drive to do better
For your motivation to take me highest
For making me happy
For striving to be a man after God’s own heart
For being the husband a wife is not deserving of
For humbling yourself enough to marry me
For putting me before everyone else
For putting me before everything else
For letting nothing come between us
For keeping my spirits up when I feared we would never see each other again
For coming miles just to see me an hour or two
For all the things you plan to do
For my first Valentine’s day with you
For the bears, chocolates, heart’s, and kisses
For a love that still blazes on
For smiling when I’m happy
For granting my wishes
For being all you are
For answering every phone call
For texting me every possible moment you miss me
For spending time with me anytime possible
For putting your friends aside and putting me first
For putting them in their place when they said things about me
Thank you for all you do and will do
Thank you for changing for me
Thank you for making me so important to you that changing a few things about yourself is nothing
For your continuous love,
One day I will be enough.
Enough for you.
Enough for me.
And maybe enough for God.
Until then I fall short every day and I fail.
I don’t think you realize how much I wish to meet your needs, standards, expectations, and I don’t.
I am told I need to grow.
I am told not to do this.
I am told to stop worrying.
I am told to calm down…
Why is it I am changing everything, or told to change everything about myself.
I feel like I am being shaped, molded, sculped, but I want to be myself.
I have not even found my true self yet and I am Fighting to protect myself.
Inside and out I am Fighting.
Warfare at every turn.
I can’t defeat this on my own, and support is hard to come by but for only a moment.
Patience is great, but not enough.
I need space. Time. And patience.
Your words hurt me, and I don’t think you realize.
But that is you.
And you tell me that I am too sensitive.
But you aren’t enough.
You aren’t sensitive enough.
If you could for only a moment dive into my brain and my constant thoughts, you would go crazy.
Maybe I am crazy. I don’t know, I just wish things would let up and life was a little bit easier for only a moment. 😦
i want a new way of life
something that i can be proud of
more than holding a heritage
more like past generation wishes
past generation dirty dishes
hold me back and i am likely to become vicious
im sick of this
im a train derailed
i hold a truth that shall prevail
i cant take anymore of the status quo
why are we held to a tradition to follow?
this new what of life isn’t a heartbeat.
change it up, live it up
don’t give a thought to a repeated cycle
be an anomaly…
i awoke again
to the smell of salt and fresh air
the faint odor of sea weed
itching on the surface of the sand
ever so slightly the smell of fish
from the catch of the fishermen
each grain and particle of rock under my body
my sun-baked body
absorbing the rays of the sun
the sight of the billows that roll
from the oceans breeze
the off-white sea foam
back and forth
back and forth
the notion of the miniature waves…
coming and going
the rise and decline of the sea’s tide
climbing the beach until riding high
pushing children further in to land
sand buckets and sand castles covered
never to be seen again.
i hear the call of the seagull
the patter of the crabs scatter
and of course the chatter
of the hotel guests,
running through the walkways
down the wooden planks
skipping playfully, kicking sand behind them
from being tossed by their feet
they call one to another
lovers walk hand in hand
imprints left in the wet sand
fading with each wave
swimmers take further out
flowing parallel with the land
with the rip current
the ocassional spray of the salty water
burning the eyes
and the sun staying strong…
draining the energy of the many beach goers
my home, the beach
where i stay
morning, noon, and night…
This is where I begin.
This is where we end
Pull the trigger.
I told you to back off!
I said to respect my decision!
I said respect my heart’s desires.
Understand where my happiness lies,
And what do you do???
Yes. You assassinated
Any relationship we had gained back
Just leave me alone
Don’t talk to me.
I can’t even look at you, I can’t even talk to you
I can’t even think about you!!
I will blow a fuse.
Say exactly what I don’t mean,
Lose my testimony.
Lose my dignity and maturity.
I was the bigger person.
Age is nothing but a number. Don’t be so ignorant.
Think I don’t know what you think?
I heard enough. And I still cut it short.
I heard it all, and you never finished your thoughts.
You think little before you speak, same as I.
But the difference is I left just in time.
I won’t be coming back for a while.
This time you couldn’t make me leave,
I left by choice, becauseyour words stabbed me
I had to go to my hospital.
Who actually loved me enough to mend hurt and pain.
I don’t need you.
This is where I begin.
This is where we end!
My Independence shall glow up
My Independence shall glow up!
My dependency falls by the wayside,
And we part ways.
Stay on your side.
Don’t come in my Lane.
Stay away from me, keep your mouth to yourself.
Focus on your own problems
Worry about your own life.
Leave me be.
It’s time for me to fly…
Am i good enough?
A question that haunts my every thought…
Every day i wonder if i am what you always wanted.
Am i good enough?
I never feel like i am… i guess that’s where my insecurity reaches out to infinity.
So am i?
Am i enough?
Do you have to look elsewhere to another to feed your fantasies?
To meet your standards?
Do i meet your desires?
Grant them with one wish if i could.
I beg to God i am sufficient.
That i am enough.
That me as a person, growing each day, is enough for you.
I make mistakes.
I say stupid things…
But is it too late?
To ask, am i enough?
Was i enough for a while and now empty?
Do i fill the void you have?
Am i enough?
Is what i have… enough?
I hope you aren’t pretending.
I remember the feelings i first got,
the first few nights we would talk to each other,
i remember thinking, is this turning into something deep?
a deeper love than i want to tread?
i remember the butterflies that began, the gut wrenching feeling that i couldnt contain.
i remember the pounding of my heart, that i could feel throughout my body as you would say you love me.
i remember it all,
like it was just last week.
the first time we kissed
it was magical.
i remember the first time we took it to the next level, and i didnt care.
i wasnt scared… because i knew you werent a theif in the night.
trying to steal my treasure then leave
i knew who i was surrendering my heart to.
i knew exactly why i did, because i wanted to be with you.
i remember it all.
the warmth of your humid breath on my nose.
with the 43 degree weather, it was cold.
i remember your leather jacket you let me wear, and i remember your cologne you wore,
oh, it smelled so good.
i remember when you picked me up and i felt like a princess,
i remember when i was holding your cold hand, and we were walking.
i remember loving every picture you hated most.
i remember wanting to talk to you more but you would have to go
i remember when i finally had enough and i weeped
i hadn’t seen you for weeks, so you came to see me.
the long distance thing… it was hard
here we are now, and we can say we passed a chasm.
the chasm that separated us from being with each other.
here we are now, and we can say love truly conquers all.
here we are now,and we can now say, im taken, im married.
here we are now, and nothing can stop us from fulfilling what road God has mapped out for us,
let us embark on this journey of marriage.