I remember

I remember the feelings i first got,

the first few nights we would talk to each other,

i remember thinking, is this turning into something deep?

a deeper love than i want to tread?

i remember the butterflies that began, the gut wrenching feeling that i couldnt contain.

i remember the pounding of my heart, that i could feel throughout my body as you would say you love me.

i remember it all,

like it was just last week.

the first time we kissed

it was magical.

i remember the first time we took it to the next level, and i didnt care.

i wasnt scared… because i knew you werent a theif in the night.

trying to steal my treasure then leave

i knew who i was surrendering my heart to.

i knew exactly why i did, because i wanted to be with you.


i remember it all.

the warmth of your humid breath on my nose.

with the 43 degree weather, it was cold.

i remember your leather jacket you let me wear, and i remember your cologne you wore,

oh, it smelled so good.

i remember when you picked me up and i felt like a princess,

i remember when i was holding your cold hand, and we were walking.

i remember loving every picture you hated most.

i remember wanting to talk to you more but you would have to go

i remember when i finally had enough and i weeped

i hadn’t seen you for weeks, so you came to see me.

the long distance thing… it was hard

here we are now, and we can say we passed a chasm.

the chasm that separated us from being with each other.

here we are now, and we can say love truly conquers all.

here we are now,and we can now say, im taken, im married.

here we are now, and nothing can stop us from fulfilling what road God has mapped out for us,

let us embark on this journey of marriage.



The 15th of April…

that marks the ending

the beginning of the end.

the end of the beginning.

saying vows… that should and would last eternity.

vowing my allegiance to a man i barely know, now thats security

for what is love that isn’t ever lasting?

who says time is what it takes to truly love someone?

time for me to take up my words,

put them to use

to prove them.

to prove myself.

to prove.

The Cure

Alive and well is the beast in this land.

This cursed land in which we dwell.

Ignorance is bliss, we say,

But the knowledge of such danger, is necessity.


Preying and feasting

On all the breathing,

No matter what

We hold ourselves accountable.


When we face the beast and lose all our strength

“Where is the hand?” we cry

When things don’t go our way.

When trials come,

Desperation seeks

For the risen help our souls need.

But shall it grant the favor?

Bestow grace on the ungrateful fakes?

God help us.


Lord have mercy on us

For asking in time of need,

But giving a blind eye;

Turning the cold shoulder

When life is just fine.

We all deserve the worse.

Hell at its finest is all too good for me.


I deserve the bottom of the pit

Even tho it can’t be reached.

I should go there;

Dwell there.


I deserve the worst…

But then came the blood

Thicker than any other,

Stronger than any antidote.

The cure,

The thing that saves


The desperate and wicked.

This cure is the salvation of the beast

And his venom;

The poison it injects in each and every victim.

But I won’t be that victim any longer!

For the blood that was spilt offered me more than a death sentence,

But a life sentence

To freedom in eternal love and hope

Peace and joy.


The one thing that the beast is vulnerable-

The blood,

The cure.


Little do they know i think of them daily

little do they know i pray for them daily

little to they know i care for them still

little do they know that i miss them still

little do they know i look at their pictures

little do they know i have had nightmares of loosing them forever

little do they know i do actually love them

little do they know…


do they even understand?

i feel if they did, they wouldn’t hold me at a distance

i feel they would at least hold a phone call for more than 3 minutes

little do they know, they have hurt me

little do they know that they have hurt themselves the most tho

not i,

not i.


damage has been done from both sides

not just mine, little do they know.

little do they know i am not struggling as bad as they wished i would

little do they know, i am happier than i was back then

that isnt to say i dont miss them

i wish things didnt happen the way they did.

i look back and wish they had just accepted him.

accepted my life, my love. who i was…

but tradition stepped in the way.


words out of context

abusing them

throwing words around like dirt in the air

causing me to sputter and cough

burning my eyes, from the tears that resulted

as i would go to sleep at night wishing things were different

wishing that they would just see things from my view

little do they know, i was struggling so much internally

suicidal thoughts were prevalent, like i was out of my mind.

i hated life

i wanted to waste life and be wasted



thats what i attempted that one time… little do they know

i drank to escape. i was miserable little do they know

little do they know, i came back, with more apathy than i can even explain

little do they now, he, my love, was the reason i got better.

encouragement daily he gave me. telling me to keep in trying

negativity should be ignored

let it roll off of me…

i struggled. boy i did. i still do at times


all my life i been susceptible to critical negativity

not intentionally, but it did affect me

it did make me what i was

stressing constantly about relatively everything…


i realize that that isnt the way life should be lived

fearing anything and everything

because if something is perfect, then it is wrong

and if its wrong, then disaster could happen…

that kind of thinking is what got me where i was


i was ready to give up… matter of fact i did

i gave up completely

i decided never to try again. ever

little do they know…


But little do they know, my well-being was saved by him.

he led me to the One above who saved me and made me whole…

he led me to the right path again.

and once i fell, hard, i knew he was the one.

not just because of the attention, little do they know

not just because of the sweet words he spoke, little do they know…

but because of the example he set for me, the model i wanted to be

a strong person

a faithful person

someone who desires God’s will for their life…

i wanted that. i fell in love with that… little do they know

little do they know, i was attracted from the start.

before i even knew him, before i even gave him a chance…

when i would talk about him, negatively, influenced by negativity around me there…

i allowed myself to get sucked in. follow the crowd and speak their language…

little do they know, before i was taken, i noticed him, above all.

attraction at the first, but it didnt go anywhere for i was distracted with a more forward one, that through their eyes was a better guy

well, little do they know, he wasnt by far

worst mistake of my life… little do they know.


but they wouldnt know

i never would let them

for one thing would lead to another and i couldnt trust them

they would force the issue

force things their way in MY life

so i unfortunately had to take matters into mine own hands

and here i am…

reaping what we all sowed

little do they know.

it isnt just me

that sowed this seed.

Such A Love As This


Just a reminder
Of my devotion
To the one i love
The man i love
The man of my dreams
I am yours forever
And forever shall we be
I couldn’t ask for more in a friend
A lover
A husband
A love like what you bestow upon me
Is hardly something i can grasp
Much less hold
A love like this is so fragile
But yet so strong
So tender
But yet so hard
So big
But yet so small
Because not everyone has the opportunity to find such a love as this
It is so fragile in that it can be broken easy
Words can erase any good memories
Broken hearts cone from words that cut deep
That’s what makes love so fragile to keep
Its so strong our love is
That nothing can break it
Nothing can mistake this indestructible love we have
Its supernatural
For God is on our side
Its so tender
That a simple word can destroy it
A simple cut through the heart will break what was once molded
But so hard
That nothing can harm it
For if its true it cant be tampered
Our love is so big
That its next to impossible to hide
I see it in your eyes
And its no disguise that it is true
But yet…
So small…
Because it must stay under wraps.
U til the time comes when all around will collapse
And we shout to the world
Such a love
As this.

Love’s New Beginning


I was left for dead
Thrown to the wolves
Devoured the thrown up
Spit out
Tossed about
And confused
And betrayed
I was slayed
By my own sword
My own words
Turned against me
I am my own worst enemy
My heart is supposed to keep me alive
But instead it kills me slowly
It falls so hard
Plunging in deep waters called love
It drowns in a sea of despair
I gasp for air
I beg for oxygen
I swim so deep
But expect to reach the surface
I need this tonic
But i am left in a panic
Searching for a way out
Looking for exit signs
I beseech God for a cure for this sickness I have
This need for love
That’s the last thing i need at this moment
I need protection
From my heart
It’s so week
But yet its so strong
It feels for so long
And its beatings upon me are so hard
I need an escape from it
At least
That’s what i thought
I was hurt so bad for so long I wished to just stop
Stop falling in love
Stop being there for anyone
Stop trying for anyone
Stop anything for even one
I was done
Tired of all the pain and suffering
Sick of the sickness called depression from being lonely
A waste i was ready to be
For i felt wasted because the drug of love left me in the gutters of the streets
But then i met you
You flipped my whole world around
You changed my heart and opened my eyes
Lifted me off the ground
Brought me back to life
Told me everything’s alright
I can and will prevail
Because you would be there by my side
You said that you truly loved me
You told me that i was the only
Made me feel wanted
And special
No longer let me feel lonely
For i know now I’m not alone
And i have a journey to complete
And that anytime i might fall down you would be my feet
Never to give up
Never to surrender
To what life may throw my way
You are my sunshine and the light
That brightens every day…
I can now say
That love is no longer a curse
No longer my enemy
Its has healed all my hurt
Love’s a New beginning
When at one time it was my end
Thanks to you
My life isn’t through
And i will be there for you
Til the very end.



He is the most manly of the men
The most gentle and loving
Compassionate and caring
He passionately kisses my cheek
And he holds my hand and never let’s go
We cuddle and watch the TV
And we share the same seat
He is the first and last thing on my mind everyday
And I am constantly finding myself wanting to say
I love you,
Very much.
More than myself
I would give up anything for you
And I would lose everything to prove that to you
The way you look at me with that smile that leaves me breathless
The way you speak to me makes my thoughts stall
I forget things when you are around
Because my attention is all on you
You make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
And even tho that is so cliche it is the truth
You are the guy of every girls dreams
You are held so high in my mind no man can compare to you
I cannot see myself with anyone other than you
For I would sell myself short of true happiness
Because baby,
You make me happy
You are my dream
Not a car
Not a house
Not a bunch of money
But you.
You really do make me complete
You make me think
That what Disney wants kids to believe
Is true
Dreams do come true
I am Cinderella and you are my Prince Charming
You sweep me off my feet
And you are everything I want a man to be
Are in every way to me…