Write

You never write for me anymore…

Have you lost inspiration from me?

Do I not inspire you anymore?

Am I boring​?

No longer at a distance so the love is different…

I see. 😦

I miss you writing for me. About me. To me. With me.

I miss it.

It breaks my heart I don’t cover your mind enough to be written about…

You know I love it!

You know it makes me smile.

So why?

Write for me my love, I beg for your words of encouragement and romance to light my day.

To lighten my nights!

Give me something to sleep on to make me have the best of dreams.

I need help, I need your writings…

Please my love, write.

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The Cure

alive and well is the beast in this land

this cursed land, in which we dwell.

ignorance is bliss, we say

but the knowledge of such danger is necessity.

 

preying and feasting

on all the living and breathing,

no matter what

we hold ourselves accountable.

 

when we face the beast and lose all our strength

“where is the hand?” we say,

when things don’t go our way.

when trials come,

desperation seeks

for the risen help our souls need.

but shall it grant the favor?

bestow grace on the ungrateful fakes?

God help us.

lord have mercy on us

for asking in time of need,

but giving a blind eye,

turning the cold shoulder

when life is just fine…

we all deserve the worst.

hell at its finest is all too good for me.

i deserve the bottom of the pit

even when it cant be reached.

i should go there.

dwell there.

 

i deserve the worst.

but then came the blood!

thicker than any other!

stronger than any antidote!

the Cure.

the thing that saves…

 

the desperate and wicked,

this cure is the salvation of the beast

and his venom.

the poison it injects in each and every victim…

but i wont be that victim any longer!

 

for the blood that was spilt offered me more than a death sentence!

but a life sentence!

to freedom in eternal love,

and hope,

peace and joy.

 

the one thing that the beast is vulnerable,

the Blood

the Cure.

Try

​Don’t tell me that you are ok

And don’t say your fine, it was only one time.

We both know that you will keep going back to it.

You are controlled, like a puppet.

You are dependent on it

You crave it,

And give in time and time again…

You say it’s harder than you think and use that as an excuse,

To give up

Never try…

That’s why you lose.

How are you supposed to ever become stronger if you never fight

And never have faith in the only thing that will defeat the hardest battles?

I don’t think you care.

I don’t think you want anything different…

You attract nightmares.

Clammy. Waking up in the middle of the night crying. Shaking. Begging God to erase the visions.

You have withdrawals and use wine and alcohol to help you cope.

If you life is so happy why do you have to escape?

Why not be sober?

Soak up the moment?

It’s because you are miserable. But you are addicted to misery.

And you want to change. But you don’t. 

You are at war and in conflict about what life you want.

Heartache and pain is addicting…

And true happiness seems to take work.

So you stop trying.

Wish

My one wish is affection
i want love in a way i never had before

not just physical,

but the knowledge it will last forever, not just a season

i wish peace of mind would stay instead of coming in spurts

i want to be joy filled

forever, not a moment of happiness

i want freedom

the happiest i am is when the love of my life comes to me.

not i, him

when he takes me on an adventure

i want adventure!

i want space…

not held in the same place i been my whole life.

i wish for someone who will look to me, and ask for my love

instead of me always wanting it… i want to give it to someone who gives it back more than i

the look in my child’s eyes, when they look to me and i am their world.

and they are mine,

that. is my one wish.

someone who will take care of me and my feelings,

sweet innocence to find me the most beautiful even when there are others more beautiful than i,

someone who will look to me and ask for help and love, instead of me always asking

someone who want my attention, instead of me always wanting the attention

can i give it for once to one who wants it back??

thats my one wish.

In His Hands

image

They draw their swords and they chase me into the mountains

The caves in which I dwell

They offer me no shelter

For within dwells monsters and I am a helpless worm

Suffering starvation

And lacerations

My health is on the decline

But dare I not blame God

Because I know He will deliver in due time

And even with being hunted

Chased down

Beaten

Hurt

Bruised

Alone

I have the Lord looking down at me

And walking beside me

I need not fear

Though fear comes at times

I know he will deliver me when I need his hand

The lord shall provide His hand

And again,

No matter what trials may come my way

I know the Lord will deliver

So praise be to Him

For when He will deliver

You may wonder,

Why my optimism never ceases,

It’s because of the joy in my heart that never leaves me

My soul is joyful

My heart is full of the Holy Spirit

I have a peace within

That cannot be comprehended by most

Until one has found the faith in Upmost Highest

They will never fathom the power of the Holy Ghost

And the peace that it bestows

The Lord is my rock to lean on when I get weak

The Lord is my shelter when I need to sleep

And the Lord is my Saviour when I am going through a storm

I will continue to praise Him

No matter what comes my way

And my enemies will continue to fight against me

But they shan’t prevail against me

For it isn’t me they are against

It is God

For in Him I have placed my trust

And I am in His hands.

I Feel It

image

When it finally hits us
The Holy Bible
When we finally feel it
The Holy Spirit
When we finally see it
God’s direction
When we have an assurance
Emmanuel
When we find security
God with us
When I found it
God with me

I feel Him
He Is with me
All the time
For eternity
God with me
And He with you
Never.
Fear.
Never.
Doubt.
Negative kills
Negative steals
Joy.
Happiness.
Love.
Hope.
Peace.
Life.
Let Jesus in,
And you will have what you need.

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