Should i just stop trying?
should i just stop caring?
just go with the flow?
im not what i used to be,
and sadly i dont know what that was.
i just know nothing feels the same anymore.
im ready to just do whatever i want,
i dont want boundaries.
i want to do whatever i please.
if that means leaving all ive ever known,
then ready, set, GO!
Some people think freedom.
Freedom of an adult…ahh…freedom…
I’m not one if these people who think once you’re eighteen
Its time to party
And move out…no.
I actually think responsibility,
I think of things that are nerve wrecking.
I’m kind of a pessimist, so bear with me,
But this is what I’m thinking…
I think “freedom” isn’t gonna happen anytime soon for me,
Because I’m not through yet with my schooling.
If I go to college I have more of a chance of prosperity.
I am assuming
That here soon I will meet who God has for me, (God willing…)
And its exciting!
And its not normal for me to be sappy
But I can’t wait for love,
And who God has for me!
He will sweep me off my feet,
And tell me how much he adores me,
And tell me how much he loves me,
And hugs me warmly and tightly,
And kisses me softly,
Oh, that would be lovely…
And a family.
Little childrens running around my cottage-style dream house
And of course we’d have a puppy!
Now that’s enticing!
But enough of the dreaming.
There will be time for that tonight.
I need to focus on what will affect me in the future of my life.
So back to the daily stresses
Ever since I turned eighteen…
I’m confused now
I don’t know want to end up this way
I don’t know where to turn
I just want things to be okay…
Something that I thought I wouldn’t say
Something that I thought I wouldn’t mind
Something that makes me afraid
Is what, where, and how to start my life.
I am in a state of confusion.
But I have got to make a decision.
I don’t know what road to take.
I don’t know which step to make.
I don’t know what God has for me.
I just want to close my eyes and wake up to a new reality.
I don’t know why I should even try.
I’d just end up changing my mind.
How will I ever make it through
The biggest decision of my life?