One day I will be enough.
Enough for you.
Enough for me.
And maybe enough for God.
Until then I fall short every day and I fail.
I don’t think you realize how much I wish to meet your needs, standards, expectations, and I don’t.
I am told I need to grow.
I am told not to do this.
I am told to stop worrying.
I am told to calm down…
Why is it I am changing everything, or told to change everything about myself.
I feel like I am being shaped, molded, sculped, but I want to be myself.
I have not even found my true self yet and I am Fighting to protect myself.
Inside and out I am Fighting.
Warfare at every turn.
I can’t defeat this on my own, and support is hard to come by but for only a moment.
Patience is great, but not enough.
I need space. Time. And patience.
Your words hurt me, and I don’t think you realize.
But that is you.
And you tell me that I am too sensitive.
But you aren’t enough.
You aren’t sensitive enough.
If you could for only a moment dive into my brain and my constant thoughts, you would go crazy.
Maybe I am crazy. I don’t know, I just wish things would let up and life was a little bit easier for only a moment. 😦