I always am alone
No one to talk to
But what’s weird is when I get around people, I want to go home and be alone…
So why do I feel so lonely?
Company doesn’t appeal to me.
People lie, and back stab…
I can’t trust anyone,
And every timeI do I get hurt.
Maybe that is why I don’t want company.
Maybe that is why I don’t want Friends..
But at the same time I do, I want Friends.
So which is it?
I don’t even know.
Do I want friends? And risk getting hurt over and over again like always…
Or do I want to be alone, like I always feel. Always have felt. And come to think of it, when I have friends, it lasts for such a short time, that I still feel lonely. Probably because I know that they aren’t there for me.
Probably because I know that in only a matter of time they will drop me.
Forgive me for this self pity,
But I am saddened by the fact I can’t keep anybody…
And I don’t want to. I am afraid to.
I am deathly afraid of being alone, but
I am Also terrified of being with others.
I feel perplexed, and I am lost for words of how to explain it other than I am lonely.