Saying Goodbye

As soon as you came in my life you are leaving me.
I never really got to know you personally
But I know enough to know I love you
And I’ll miss you
And you mean so much to me
You’ve mad me who I am
You helped me overcome my insecurity
Told me I was beautiful
And helped me to believe it myself.
I’d been told that by many that my blemishes don’t matter
But its hard to believe someone when I can’t see my natural beauty myself.
And I know now,
That physical beauty isn’t all the same
Everyone looks different.
But I see that now.
And if it weren’t for you,
I would still be looking in the mirror
Hating myself.
You were the sweetest lady I have ever known.
Like a perfect angel from above.
And as I write this tears do fall.
Because I will miss you more than you will ever know.
But when you are up in heaven soon
You will look down
And I promise to make you proud.
I love you like a second mother.
You nurtured me
and put some things in me
Back together.
My biological mother has shown me the same love
But when she showers me everyday with it
I tend to forget
That what she says isn’t made up
Its not a lie
She truly means it
And you helped me understand it.
For a long time I felt like what my mother said was a lie
She spoke words of love because she loves me
And I thought she had eyes that were blind to truly see
I thought what she said all those years was just a mother to daughter compliment.
But she was just trying to give me confidence.
But it wasn’t til you were generous with love
Til I realized it wasn’t just empty words.
It was real.
And she was right.
I am beautiful.
And I believe it. And I know it. And I will shout it.
I only hope to one day
Be like you.
In all you say and do.
You are the by far
The most inspirational
Most influential
Most beautiful
Lady.
Inside and out.
You were not only a friend.
But a mother.
And a sister.
And a helper.
And a listener.
And an advisor.
My role model.
And I love you.
Truly I do.
I wish you could last forever
But truth is you will
I will see you one day soon
When I go to heaven.
This God forsaken cancer
Took you by force
And I found myself blaming God
Because he didn’t save you.
But it was wrong of me…
Because God just want to be
Closer to you
In a way he’d never been before
He wanted you to visit him.
And you will soon enough.
Until then, and after then I will cry
Tears of sorrow
Bitter sorrow…
But tears of joy for you will be in no more pain.
I love you Mrs. Barb.
I can’t wait to see you
On the other side of this life.
Goodbye. For now.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s